2016 has been a complicated year for nearly everyone I love. It’s brought a lot of growth to myself, my family and my friends. There’s been some awesome things accomplished and some epic learning experiences that I’m still on the fence about.
I’ve officially graduated from online learning with a degree in communications, and landed the dream job within two weeks only to find out the path that I aspired to work in since 16 was nothing like it was in my head, or previous positions. Coupling a new job with a longer commute, C going to daycare full-time, thanks to my mom driving him; my family was dealing with a cancer diagnosis and treatment that has been successful so far. I didn’t stay at the “dream job” for long, and took a retail position that is five minutes from daycare, because sometimes you don’t know that you don’t want something until you have it. I’m refocusing, interviewing in the New Year knowing that I will always value the time with my son more than the prestige of “the job.” Work-life balance is a lie, and it’s up to you and your support system to hustle to be the best in all areas if it means letting some stuff go.
I called time on relationships that weren’t right, and am navigating co-parenting with admiration and respect. Navigating the family law system and being one for results immediately, this process is taking a long time when there is in essence nothing to argue about as there is nothing to really change, it’s just putting the plan that’s worked for two years on paper and saying “We’re better separate then we are together.” It’s hard, but it needs to be done. No one has a child thinking their going to be the statistic that doesn’t make it, and I’m remembering why I chose that person, rather than get caught up in the drama and emotion that can happen. By not engaging, we’re able to put our son’s needs at the forefront, and that’s the goal of parenting; respect, selflessness, and mutual understanding.
C has grown so much. He’s funny, creative, smart, stubborn, bossy (leadership skills), empathetic and everything I could ask for in a kid. Even if some days are harder than others, to know that my child is healthy and happy is kind of the best feeling. He runs around the house, jumping off the couch calling himself Batman-Superman-Spiderman-Man. He’s strong, tough and brave but soft enough to stop me for a snuggle and a kiss. He is literally the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. And now that he sings Oasis with the whine, my work here is done… well at least about some of his musical preferences. Can someone please make “Wheels on the Bus” stop?
I’ve reconnected with old friends, which was so not something I had planned, but it’s good. There has been a parallel of lives for the past few years which is funny and odd, but it’s refreshing to FINALLY be carving out some time for conversation that doesn’t always have to do with kids, though most of the time it does. Even if I am just dumb all the time now, tripping over my words and smiling like an idiot. Thank you for that, you stupid face.
My thirty-second birthday is just three days away, and I was told your 30s is where you learn all of your lessons. Your friends are carefully curated down to the best of the best and that’s happening. There are some women I’ve known since highschool and some who were neighbours and mothers who became sisters. It’s a good place to be. 2016 has taught me resilience, strength that is deeper than I had before, and that sometimes it’s okay to say ‘no’ if its not what is best for your circumstances.
Like everyone else I’m ready to say goodbye to 2016 and move into 2017 which I have designated to happiness, and less stress. I have made some goals that I will be working towards, and look forward to new challenges I’ve set up for myself. 2016 is a stormy year that we all seemed to have to weather in order for growth to happen. Therefore although I am feeling a bit apprehensive about 2017 (Thanks, Donald!), personally its time to move forward and embrace happiness.
I hope everyone has a good Holiday season as we reflect on the end of the year, and as we all carry on together.